The problem with soul searching…….

is that at some point you have to make a decision. You have to choose a course to take, and take it without knowing the outcome. You have to have faith that you’ve done your best to consider every consequence and know that, if you’ve made the wrong choice, you can make a course correction and choose again.

So we did it. We jumped in with both feet and made a decision. Maybe not at the most convenient of times, but life is rarely convenient. Shortly after Hope was born, we decided it was okay to move on. And not just okay,….necessary. Because BAMC feels very safe. And comfortable. But that’s not where we want to be forever. In that bubble of understanding that Ryan is a “wounded warrior”. Where your injury defines you and others’ expectations of you. We wanted to choose our life, not have it thrust upon us by accident. And even if we are choosing wrongly, it’s our choice.

On August 31^st, we drove away from San Antonio. With four kids, a dog, and a U-haul trailer bound for San Diego. Oh, and a plan. We do have a plan. Ryan is flying again. He started in San Antonio in July and has continued here in San Diego. He’s been out of the cockpit for over 3 years, so he has some catching up to do. Unfortunately, the VA can’t pay for his training because it is not a degree seeking program. So we reached out to an organization for assistance. It wasn’t easy for us to ask for help, but there was no other way.

Thankfully, Hope for the Warriors made it easy. Actually, they made it better than easy. They made granting our request a gift beyond our expectations. When we asked them for help to pay for Ryan’s flight training, we didn’t expect that they could cover everything. It was a hefty request. And while their Warrior’s Wish program is designed to empower a life beyond recovery, our request was not like any of the others that we’d seen. But not only did they agree to pay for all of his training, they sent someone very special to deliver the news in person. Master Gunnery Sergeant Greg Staggs was with Ryan the night he was injured. He was one of the heroes that helped save Ryan’s life. And when he and his wife showed up in Texas to tell us what Hope for the Warriors was willing to do for us, Ryan was speechless and I was in tears. It meant so much to us that they granted our wish in such a special way. It was a vote of confidence in Ryan and in our future.

So here we are. Terrified and excited at the same time. Buoyed by the prayers and support of so many, but required to do it on our own. We may find that this isn’t the right choice for us. But we’ll never look back and wonder what if.