Catching Up

Ryan came home from the hospital as scheduled last Friday afternoon.  He was happy to be out of the hospital and I was happy to have him home.  I no longer had the added responsibility of driving back and forth to visit him everyday, but having him home presents the added challenges of caring for him and everyone else at the same time.  Since having him home means no visiting hours, I haven't taken the time to update the blog before or after I see Ryan.  Ryan is here all the time, so usually if he doesn't need me, one of the kids does.

Ryan is doing better and better everyday.  His pain is very well managed and his energy is pretty good considering his limitations.  He went to the hospital Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for follow up appointments, and each time they were very happy with how he was progressing.  We met with the surgeon yesterday and he's confident that Ryan will be ready for the next surgery on September 2nd.  It's pretty awkward for Ryan to have "bridges" of flesh connecting  his neck to his cheeks, so we're looking forward to having that disconnected.  And I look forward to not having to do the wound care necessary for his flaps.  I keep asking Ryan what people would do if they didn't have a strong stomach.  But we both know it is a means to an end and having that burn scar off of his face will be such an improvement.  Not just aesthetically, but burn scars contract and pull his eyes open, cause him pain, and drastically increase his risks of skin cancer.  Having that gone will be good for so many reasons.  

His eyes are doing much better than last week too.  His right eye, in particular, developed a lot of swelling under the membrane and ophthalmology was watching it closely.  We just had to be really aggressive with the eye drops and goggles and by Wednesday, Ryan was able to get his Boston Scleral Lens back in.  His lenses provide constant moisture for his corneas and protect them, but with all the swelling they didn't fit.  Now that he can wear his lenses, he still needs drops for the area of his eyes not covered by the lenses but he's much more comfortable and can see better.

So, ten more days until the next surgery and Ryan being able to move his neck freely again.  Please keep us in your prayers in the meantime.  This really isn't fun, but we're managing.  

Post-op Day Three

Ryan's appetite is coming back! Not with it's same voracity, but it's certainly better than the last few days. When I called him before visiting hours began to see if he wanted me to bring him something other than hospital food for lunch, I knew he was starting to feel better because he asked for a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Fries, Coke, and an M&M McFlurry. He didn't actually eat it all (like he normally would), but he made a good effort. And he fed himself for the first time since surgery too.

Sleeping in the hospital is always a challenge for Ryan, especially when he has to share a room with 3 other people. But last night he slept better than he had the previous two nights. Maybe that's why he was feeling so much better today. And he's looking good too. The color and temperature of his flaps are the best they've been yet. His doctor is really pleased and confident that everything is going to turn out nicely. The swelling is down a little bit since yesterday, but still looking just as it should. I've taken a few pictures of Ryan the last couple of days and shown them to him so he can see how things are coming along. But he still is constantly asking me if his eyes, his flaps, his pedicles, his wound vacs, etc., look okay. And they look great, but sometime between the 15th and 20th time he asks me, I start telling him that they look awful and he should probably stop asking me. He doesn't stop. And I've also started telling him that he looks like a character from the "Austin Powers" movie, "Fat Bastard". He actually agrees with me on that one.

The doctor says we're on track for Ryan to go outpatient tomorrow. And we're both looking forward to that. I always forget how exhausting it is to spend all day at the hospital. When I'm away from the kids all day, I feel guilty that I'm not home. And when I'm away from Ryan, I feel guilty that I'm not at the hospital. Meanwhile, nothing is getting done at the house. Laundry, groceries, cooking, and more are all being neglected with each passing day. They will still be there when Ryan comes home and I don't have to spend all day at the hospital. Then I'll just have to add wound care, pain management, and who knows what else, to my list of things to do. But never fear, Ryan's sister, Rhonda, is flying in tonight to save the day. She offered to stay for a week and help me with the hardest part of these three weeks. I love her!

In other news, Noah has been taking his first steps this week, but I wouldn't yet call what he does "walking". Maya just found out she will be transitioning to a preschool class at daycare. She's not yet 3 years old, but she is potty trained and has good language skills so they are moving her up a little early. Jaida is visiting family in Oregon and will be home next Tuesday. We miss her and can't wait to have her home. She's had quite the busy summer. She starts 8th grade on August 25th. So you can see, there's always something new happening at our house.

Post-op Day Two

Ryan looked much better today than he did yesterday. While he wasn't feeling really bad yesterday, he wasn't moving around much either. He pretty much just laid there with his eyes closed. Today when I came in he was sitting up with his eyes open, talking with visitors. So his eyes are feeling a lot better, and so is he. He still isn't eating much, but I'm not too worried. I know that will come back. It always does! And his flaps are still looking good. They are a little more swollen than they were, but not as swollen as some of the guys I've seen. And the swelling is normal too.

They continued with the leech therapy today, but we had a little added excitement. The nurse who took care of Ryan had never worked with leeches before. A more experienced nurse came in and showed her how to get them started and then left her alone to catch them as they fill up and fall off. Well, Ryan's nurse wasn't 100% comfortable with the leeches. So, when they finished up she just grabbed them with a handful of gauze pads and quickly threw them in the trash. Well, leeches are living, moving beings...and they didn't stay in the trash can. A little while later, I nearly screamed when I saw a leech inching across the floor leaving a trail of blood. His nurse jumped up and grabbed it but didn't know what to do with it. Then we saw a second one on the floor near the trash can. There was still a third leech unaccounted for that the housekeeping staff discovered shortly after. The nurse was so embarrassed and the whole ward was making fun of her and giving her funny nicknames like DJ Leechy. And she has since learned that after a leech gets his last meal, you destroy him in a cup of hydrogen peroxide. While it may sound cruel, it's much more hygienic than letting them leave blood trails all over the floor when they escape the trash can.

Post-op Day One

If Ryan's nurses didn't know how much he likes to sleep late, they know now. After they resolved Ryan's issue with his eyes, he decided he had some sleep to make up for. When I came in at noon, his nurse told me that he'd sent her away and said not to come back until I arrived to feed him lunch. He wasn't mean, just clear. :) And even though he didn't complain about his pain, he hardly ate anything so you know he wasn't feeling great. He didn't do much besides rest today, but he did get out of bed and sit in a chair for about an hour and a half. The physical therapist came by to range and stretch his hands. His surgeon stopped in and said that he was looking great, but as a precaution he prescribed leech therapy for his left cheek and nitroglycerin paste for his right cheek. Both recommendations should dilate his capillaries and improve circulation to ensure the viability of his flaps. While leeches may make some people squeamish, this is not Ryan's first encounter with the blood sucking parasite. They used leeches on his eyelids after a procedure last October. It doesn't hurt, in fact, he can hardly feel it. And to show what a sense of humor Ryan has about it all, he often names his leeches. Today they were Albert Einstein, Kelly Clarkson, and Kareem Abdul Jabar. I asked him why and he said they were all American Idols! Whatever makes him happy!

I'm hoping he's a little more talkative tomorrow and a little more hungry. But all this is to be expected after such a major surgery. We're just taking it moment by moment. Thank you to everyone who posted a comment or sent us an email. It helps to know you're out there sending us your support and love.

Surgery update

We went in yesterday morning at 6 am expecting Ryan to be the first case as scheduled.  It wasn't until about 9:30 that we found out that they had two urgent cases and the schedule had been adjusted with Ryan being bumped to third case.  Ryan didn't mind too much, he just laid back and took a nap.  They finally rolled him back at nearly 1 pm, but not before letting me kiss his scarred cheeks goodbye.  The next time I saw him his shoulders would be replacing the skin on his face.

The doctors came out at 4:30 and let me know that the procedure went well.  They were able to remove a lot of the scarring on Ryan's face and completely close his left shoulder.  There is an open area about 2"x3" on his right shoulder that couldn't be closed.  They covered it with integra (synthetic skin) and a wound vac, and will go back and graft that area later.  I got to go see Ryan recovering in ICU at about 5 pm and he was still coming out of the anesthesia.  When he finally began to rouse himself, I asked him how he was doing and he said, "Hurting."  He told me he felt like he got hit by a Mack truck.  The nurse gave him some pain medication and something for nausea, and he drifted back to sleep.  He woke up shortly after and was doing well.  By 7 pm, he was ready to move down to the Burn Ward and his pain was down to a 5 on a scale from 1-10.  While they got him settled in his room, I ran downstairs to Burger King and brought him back a large vanilla milkshake.  As soon as he got that, he sucked it down and was feeling pretty good.  Of all the things that might be bothering him, his eyes hurt the worst.  They didn't do anything to his eyes, but because they were working so close to them they were open a lot of the time he was under and became really dry.  He's used to wearing his moisture lenses all day and hasn't had to deal with dryness in his eyes since he got the lenses.  His eyes were throbbing when he woke up and he could hardly feel anything but the pain in his eyes.  While we waited for his eye medication to show up in the computer, I soaked gauze bandages in ice water and pressed them to his closed eyes.  That gave him some relief until we could get his eye drops and lubrication.

When I left him last night at 9 pm, his pain was down to about a 3 and he was listening to his iPod and trying to sleep.  I called this morning and talked to his nurse and she said that his eyes were the only thing that were bothering him last night, but once they got the right combination of lubricants down, he fell right to sleep and slept through the night.  Visiting hours start at noon today, so I'll be going in to see him then.  We'll know in the first couple of days if the surgery was completely successful.  So please pray that the flaps have good circulation and Ryan remains as comfortable as possible.  Thanks so much.

Thanksgiving in August

Last month when I asked Ryan what he wanted to do for his 28th birthday (besides surgery!) I was pretty surprised when he said he wanted a full Thanksgiving dinner the night before surgery.  Before any procedure, Ryan has to fast after midnight so he wanted a really big meal to tide him over until he could eat again.  How could I say no to Ryan's only birthday request?  

So, sure enough, we did it!  Turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, the whole nine yards.  And Ryan couldn't be happier!  We invited our good friends, Dan and Teal, over and had the unique fortune that Teal's mom, Diane, was in town.  She was so excited she demanded to be allowed to help cook.  And I was all too willing to let her!  She made a DELICIOUS stuffing, sweet potato souffle, and green bean casserole.  I cheated by ordering a fully cooked turkey from a BBQ place in town, and I don't feel even a little bit bad about it.  It was yummy and I didn't have to cook it!  Everything came together perfectly and we had a great day.  Ryan ate more food than I thought possible and all in all enjoyed his birthday!

Gathered around the table for Ryan's birthday feast

Ryan blew out his birthday candle in a piece of pumpkin pie.

(Please pay no attention to my naked daughter!  She stripped down after getting soaked playing with the water hose in the backyard.)

The kids let their meal settle by jumping on the trampoline!

Wounded Warrior Project Caregiver Retreat

Last weekend I had the honor of being invited to attend a Caregiver's Retreat hosted by the Wounded Warrior Project.  We were taken to the amazing resort The Charter at Beaver Creek in Colorado.  It was an all expense paid trip filled with thoughtful touches and awesome opportunities.  We shared all our meals together and spent our mornings in guided sessions with two incredible social workers from St. Vincent's Hospital in New York City.  Our afternoons were free time to hit the pool, indulge in a spa treatment, go horseback riding, or just relax, and I did all of the above.  But what I found myself wanting to do every chance I got was talk to these other women.  These incredible caregivers who are walking in my shoes everyday.  Our ages ranged from 20-40 and included sisters and fiances as well as wives.  Some are dealing with injuries from 5 years ago and others from 9 months ago.  Our loved ones might be retired, still undergoing therapy, or still inpatient in the hospital.  We are living all over the country in California, Colorado, Texas, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Virginia, and more.  But no matter where we are from or where we are in our recovery, we all had something to learn from each other and something to give to each other.  I can't describe how powerful it was to be with these strong women.  We shared laughter, tears, and hugs, and no one left without feeling rejuvenated and ready for the hurdles that are yet to come.  I came home realizing just how lucky I am.  

When I was invited to go on this trip I declined.  I didn't want to ask anyone to come out to watch the kids on such short notice.  But when I told Ryan about it he said, "GO!  I can handle the kids.  It's just a weekend!"  He practically had to force me to call back and accept.  I just couldn't believe we were there.  We were at the point that I could confidently leave and Ryan and the kids could survive without me.  I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.  Taking care of the kids so I could get away for a little while is something that Ryan would've done before his injury, so it just felt so "normal" for him to offer now.  And most the time our lives don't feel very "normal"!  

Ryan knew how important it was for me to take care of myself before the next round of surgeries we have scheduled.  On Monday, Ryan will have his face reconstructed with the skin they've been expanding on his shoulders.  Then on September 2nd, they'll disconnect the flaps from his shoulders and finish his face.  And just today we scheduled a surgery for September 22nd to release the capsules in the knuckles of his left hand again.  It's just the first of many surgeries we have planned with the new hand surgeon we are working with from the Hand Center of San Antonio.  We are excited for all that Dr. Pederson has planned for Ryan.  But surgery after surgery is exhausting for us all and the coming months will be challenging.  My weekend of respite came at the perfect time and I'm so glad I was able to take advantage of it.  I'd like to ask you to please keep us in your prayers.  Pray that these surgeries will be successful and that we have the strength to endure.

Our group photo on the first night.

Having some social time at the Coyote Cafe.

Enjoying the view on a trail ride.

Family Time

Our house has been full of family these last couple weeks.  First Nana and Papa John came to spend a few days with us.  They are only in the U.S. for a couple of months, so we were glad they had time to drive out to Texas to see us.  Hurricane Dolly kept us mostly indoors with all the rain it brought.  But we still had a great visit.  

Nana, Papa John, & Jaida

Maya hiding from the camera

Noah likes it when Papa John feeds him breakfast.

The next week we had a house full with Grandpa, Stephanie, Asa, Aslyn, and Aevin.  It was non-stop excitement with all the cousins in the house.  We went tubing on the Comal River and it was a perfect day.  Then the kids hit the pool on base for water slides and fun.  We got to celebrate Aslyn's 6th birthday with cupcakes and presents.  And everyone just really loved being together.

Turning in the tubes at "Rockin' R" after a great day.

Getting a group picture (it had to be "photoshopped" because Maya 

was crying in almost every shot!).